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Tonglen
I kind of want to copy this whole chapter, but I will try to be more restrained.
“In order to feel compassion for other people, we have to feel compassion for ourselves. In particular, to care about people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kind, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean, you name it-to have compassion and to care for these people means not to run from the pain of finding those things in ourselves. In fact, our whole attitude towards pain can change period instead of fending it off or hiding from it, we could open our hearts and allow ourselves to feel that pain, feel it as something that will soften and purify us and make us far more loving and kind.
“Tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering- our own and that which is all around us, everywhere we go. It is a method for overcoming our fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our hearts. Primarily it is a method for awakening the compassion that is inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem to be.
“We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person whom we know to be hurting and wish to help. For instance, if we know of a child who is being hurt, we breathe in with the wish to take away all of that child's pain and fear. Then as we without, we send happiness, joy, or whatever will relieve that child. This is the core of the practice: breathing in others pain so they can be well and having more space to relax and open- breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever the heel we could bring them relief and happiness. Often, however, we don't do this practice because we come face to face with our own fear, our own resistance our anger, or whatever our personal pain happens to be just then.
“At that point we can change the focus and begin to do tonglen for what we are feeling and for millions of other people just like us who are at that very moment feeling exactly the same stuckness and misery. Maybe we are able to name our pain. We recognize it clearly as terror for revulsion or anger or wanting to get revenge. So we breathe in for all the people who are caught with that same emotion, and we send out relief or whatever opens up the space for ourselves and all those countless others. Maybe we can't name what we're feeling. But we can feel it-the tightness in the stomach, a heavy darkness, or whatever. We simply contact what we are feeling and breathe in, take it in, for all of us- and send out relief for all of us.... Tonnglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. In the process, we become liberated from very ancient patterns of selfishness. We begin to feel love for both ourselves and others; We will begin to take care of ourselves and others.
“Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or who have died, those who are in pain of any kind. It can be done as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot of any time period we are out walking and we see someone in pain- right on the spot we can begin to breathe in that person's pain we send out relief period or we are just as likely to see someone in pain and look away. The pain brings up our fear and anger; It brings up our resistance and confusion. So on the spot we can do tonglen for all the people who are just like ourselves, all those who wish to be compassionate but instead are afraid- who wish to be brave but instead are cowardly. Rather than beating ourselves up, we can use our personal stuckness as a stepping stone to understand what people are up against all over the world. Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. Use what seems like poison as medicine. We can use our personal suffering as a path to compassion for all beings.
Formal tonglen has 4 stages:
1. Connect with bodhicitta--rest your mind briefly, for a second or two, in a state of openness or stillness
2. Work with texture. Breathe in a feeling of hot, dark, and heavy- a sense of claustrophobia- and breathe out of feeling cool, bright, and light- a sense of freshness.
3. Work with a personal situation- any painful situation that's real to you. Traditionally begin by starting with someone you care about and wish to help, but if you're stuck, you can do the practice for the pain you're feeling and simultaneously all like you who feel that kind of suffering. For example, if you're feeling inadequate, breathe that in for yourself and all the others in the same boat, and send out confidence and adequacy
4. finally, make the take again and sending out bigger. If you are doing tonglen for someone you love, extended out to those who are in the same situation as your friend.
I kind of want to copy this whole chapter, but I will try to be more restrained.
“In order to feel compassion for other people, we have to feel compassion for ourselves. In particular, to care about people who are fearful, angry, jealous, overpowered by addictions of all kind, arrogant, proud, miserly, selfish, mean, you name it-to have compassion and to care for these people means not to run from the pain of finding those things in ourselves. In fact, our whole attitude towards pain can change period instead of fending it off or hiding from it, we could open our hearts and allow ourselves to feel that pain, feel it as something that will soften and purify us and make us far more loving and kind.
“Tonglen practice is a method for connecting with suffering- our own and that which is all around us, everywhere we go. It is a method for overcoming our fear of suffering and for dissolving the tightness of our hearts. Primarily it is a method for awakening the compassion that is inherent in all of us, no matter how cruel or cold we might seem to be.
“We begin the practice by taking on the suffering of a person whom we know to be hurting and wish to help. For instance, if we know of a child who is being hurt, we breathe in with the wish to take away all of that child's pain and fear. Then as we without, we send happiness, joy, or whatever will relieve that child. This is the core of the practice: breathing in others pain so they can be well and having more space to relax and open- breathing out, sending them relaxation or whatever the heel we could bring them relief and happiness. Often, however, we don't do this practice because we come face to face with our own fear, our own resistance our anger, or whatever our personal pain happens to be just then.
“At that point we can change the focus and begin to do tonglen for what we are feeling and for millions of other people just like us who are at that very moment feeling exactly the same stuckness and misery. Maybe we are able to name our pain. We recognize it clearly as terror for revulsion or anger or wanting to get revenge. So we breathe in for all the people who are caught with that same emotion, and we send out relief or whatever opens up the space for ourselves and all those countless others. Maybe we can't name what we're feeling. But we can feel it-the tightness in the stomach, a heavy darkness, or whatever. We simply contact what we are feeling and breathe in, take it in, for all of us- and send out relief for all of us.... Tonnglen reverses the usual logic of avoiding suffering and seeking pleasure. In the process, we become liberated from very ancient patterns of selfishness. We begin to feel love for both ourselves and others; We will begin to take care of ourselves and others.
“Tonglen can be done for those who are ill, those who are dying or who have died, those who are in pain of any kind. It can be done as a formal meditation practice or right on the spot of any time period we are out walking and we see someone in pain- right on the spot we can begin to breathe in that person's pain we send out relief period or we are just as likely to see someone in pain and look away. The pain brings up our fear and anger; It brings up our resistance and confusion. So on the spot we can do tonglen for all the people who are just like ourselves, all those who wish to be compassionate but instead are afraid- who wish to be brave but instead are cowardly. Rather than beating ourselves up, we can use our personal stuckness as a stepping stone to understand what people are up against all over the world. Breathe in for all of us and breathe out for all of us. Use what seems like poison as medicine. We can use our personal suffering as a path to compassion for all beings.
Formal tonglen has 4 stages:
1. Connect with bodhicitta--rest your mind briefly, for a second or two, in a state of openness or stillness
2. Work with texture. Breathe in a feeling of hot, dark, and heavy- a sense of claustrophobia- and breathe out of feeling cool, bright, and light- a sense of freshness.
3. Work with a personal situation- any painful situation that's real to you. Traditionally begin by starting with someone you care about and wish to help, but if you're stuck, you can do the practice for the pain you're feeling and simultaneously all like you who feel that kind of suffering. For example, if you're feeling inadequate, breathe that in for yourself and all the others in the same boat, and send out confidence and adequacy
4. finally, make the take again and sending out bigger. If you are doing tonglen for someone you love, extended out to those who are in the same situation as your friend.
