![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Heightened neurosis
Jan. 28th, 2025 07:23 amThat's the name of the chapter and also a good name for my current mental state. Despite the news filter I have going some current events slipped in and I'm very concerned about the whole future of academia right now, which of course is my livelihood as well as something I'm pretty committed to on a philosophical level. It is definitely making it harder for me to practice mental nonviolence.
The chapter on heightened neurosis talks about how at a certain stage of practice, our habitual patterns actually strengthen rather than being overcome. For example, we may find reinforced the idea that we will never measure up, or conversely we may become too self-congratulatory of our own spiritual attainments. Or we may use spirituality to run away from the world. "The point is that we will bring our habitual ways of fluing ourseles rogether right into bodhicitta practice, right into the training in ungluing." Partly this is because when we feel unmoored we grab on to what is familiar. "A first step is to understand that a feeling of dread or psychological discomfort might just be a sign that old habits are getting liberated, that we are moving closer to the natural open state. Trungpa Rinpoche said that awakening warriors would find themselves in a constant state of anxiety. Personally I've found this to be true. After a while I realized that since the shakingness wasn't going away I might as well get to know it. When our attitude toward fear becomes more welcoming and inquisitive, there's a fundamental shift that occurs."
Sitting with fear and anxiety is certainly a discipline I could use!
The next chapter, among other things, talks about our enemies as our teachers: they are the ones who teach us patience. "Without the office bully, how could we ever get the chance to know the energy of anger so intimately that it loses its destructive power." I guess the next four years are going to be a big learning experience.
The chapter on heightened neurosis talks about how at a certain stage of practice, our habitual patterns actually strengthen rather than being overcome. For example, we may find reinforced the idea that we will never measure up, or conversely we may become too self-congratulatory of our own spiritual attainments. Or we may use spirituality to run away from the world. "The point is that we will bring our habitual ways of fluing ourseles rogether right into bodhicitta practice, right into the training in ungluing." Partly this is because when we feel unmoored we grab on to what is familiar. "A first step is to understand that a feeling of dread or psychological discomfort might just be a sign that old habits are getting liberated, that we are moving closer to the natural open state. Trungpa Rinpoche said that awakening warriors would find themselves in a constant state of anxiety. Personally I've found this to be true. After a while I realized that since the shakingness wasn't going away I might as well get to know it. When our attitude toward fear becomes more welcoming and inquisitive, there's a fundamental shift that occurs."
Sitting with fear and anxiety is certainly a discipline I could use!
The next chapter, among other things, talks about our enemies as our teachers: they are the ones who teach us patience. "Without the office bully, how could we ever get the chance to know the energy of anger so intimately that it loses its destructive power." I guess the next four years are going to be a big learning experience.
